Here’s what went down in Episode 15 (entitled “All His Angels”) of Season 4 of History’s Vikings.
That Shitty Place Where King Aelle Lives (Otherwise Known as England)
Basically, the entirety of Episode 16 occurs in England and revolves around Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel) and his little chat with King Ecbert (Linus Roache). Ragnar still has a death wish and Ecbert has agreed to hand him over to King Aelle (Ivan Kaye). Before this happens though, Ecbert lets Ragnar have one final visit with his son, Ivar (Alex Hogh). Because everyone thinks Ivar is nothing more than a cripple and Ragnar would never, ever have anything up his sleeve. Well, fuck you Ecbert and that fat cow, Aelle, you rode in on. Ragnar certainly does tell Ivar that Aelle will be the arsehole that kills him, but he dobs in Ecbert anyway. Because you killed the Viking settlement you scumbag, Ecbert. While you may think you and Ragnar are as chummy as fuck, guess again. Vikings always get their revenge. Although, to be honest, I think Ecbert works it out fairly quickly and dons Athelstan’s (George Blagden) old robes that he just happened to have tucked away in a drawer. I bet he has asked Judith to wear these on occasion…Ragnar goes on a road trip after that. The suckiest road trip ever. While everyone else gets to ride on comfy horses, Ragnar is stuck in a metal cage. At least he has the cart driver to talk to. The motherfucking blind driver. It is at this point, regardless of what I know about Viking history, I truly knew Ragnar was doomed. Because History had already foreshadowed this and the Seer (John Kavanagh) had previously told Ragnar he would die on the day the blind man saw him. And, you guessed it, that driver can see him.
So, the rest of the episode is all about just how awful King Aelle can be.
And let me tell you, that cunt is a motherfucking arsehole! Most of the time from now on involves King-Motherfucking-Aelle looking as smug as shit.
But at least Ragnar is impressed the Seer fucked up his prophecy because he doesn’t actually die on the day the blind man sees him. Woo-Hoo! High five. No, really, Ragnar, that still sucks. Pretty sure that wasn’t the most important part of the prophecy. But nice work on convincing yourself the Viking gods are not in control of your destiny.
Ragnar’s group finally approaches King Aelle, who comes to meet him. Ragnar really doesn’t give one single shit. No matter the smack Aelle talks. Apparently Ragnar will atone for his sins against England. I don’t fucking think so.
Ragnar’s cage is raised into the air and everyone cheers because they are cunts.
Then, it is nighttime and people are still cheering and poking at Ragnar with spears. Cunty Aelle just sits back, feeding his fucking face and laughing.The next day Ragnar is dragged out of his cage. Ropes are placed around his neck. Aelle is talking shit about how the Christians will be happy at the death of Ragnar, like he is chosen by God to be a cunt. Ragnar is struck across the back of the head and then dragged through the crowd. People kick at him and beat him. It’s awful to watch. It only gets worse though. He is dragged to his feet and punched by Aelle so hard that Ragnar remembers that one time he thought it was a good idea to travel to England.
Aelle tells him to ask for absolution. Ragnar still gives zero fucks about absolution.
King Aelle then burns him with a red hot poker.
Because he is a cunt.
Ragnar says not a word, or utters a scream. Because Vikings are mad cunts and will not give in to the shitty ways of Aelle’s god.Aelle cuts a cross into Ragnar’s face. Still zero shits are given and Aelle actually starts to look rattled. He has the nooses removed when Ragnar tries to speak. Ragnar doesn’t ask for absolution though, he quotes his saga instead and Aelle is not impressed. Ragnar gets to his feet and walks back into his cage. Once again, Aelle is looking a little worried.
It’s nighttime all over again and Ragnar is having flashbacks to his earlier life and I am losing my shit now. All the happy times. Athelstan. Fuck. This is so heartbreaking.
The Lord’s prayer. Athelstan saying it, Ragnar saying it. He wakes to everyone around him saying it.This is when the motherfucking snake pit is revealed. FUUUUUUUUUUCK! Ecbert chooses that time to arrive, turns out he has done a little pilgrimage in Athelstan’s outfit.
King Aelle, on the other hand, is in a chapel praying. What, isn’t he even going to witness it? Weak cunt.
Snakes are shown to the crowd. Couldn’t they just bite everyone already? Ragnar looks on as the snakes are piled into the pit
King Aelle praying again like he hopes people will think he is awesome after all this. Finally, though, Aelle is done with his prayers and turns up to see the show.
Ragnar talks about Valhalla and how awesome it is. Ecbert is impressed with the speech. And I am surprised how much of it seems to be spoken in an Aussie accent. But then Ragnar is dropped into the snake pit from a great height and I am STILL not ready for this! Ragnar is getting bitten as everyone looks on. He makes eye contact with Ecbert before dying. Ecbert looks so sad, horrified even.Aelle is a smug cunt still.
Ragnar is dead.
Ecbert is the last one there. The hole has been covered up. He walks off.
Seriously, I think a part of me died inside. I hate you 2016.
Other Stuff That is Likely Important
- Ivar and Alfred playing chess. Because nothing is more literal than future kings playing the game of kings.
- Ragnar giving little Alfred his father’s rosary. Besides it making me cry, I couldn’t help but wonder where he was hiding it all that time.
- Ecbert is true to his word and Ivar is returned to Kattegat where he informs his brothers of the shit that has gone down in England. They, in return, tell him about what happened to Aslaug (Alyssa Sutherland) in Episode 14 of Vikings.
- And then this guy turns up. About all I can say for certain is that it isn’t Carl Grimes… But it could be one of these guys.
Vikings returns to History Channel with Episode 16 on January 4, Wednesday, at 9 p.m. ET.
The synopsis for Episode 16 (entitled “Crossing”) of Vikings Season 4 according to Carter Matt is below.
“Bjorn’s fleet launches a surprise attack, while Lagertha’s quest for power continues in Kattegat.”
[Featured image via History]