Surprise! A new community is added to the long list of Walking Dead groups that just seem to be pouring out of the woodwork of late. Remember those days where Rick’s group just wandered about without bumping into any survivors at all? Yeah, this is not how it is going down in Season 7 of The Walking Dead.
CF: You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a survivor’s group these days. There’s gotta be plenty more out there, so don’t stop now, AMC!
RT: I set a challenge for AMC: one new group a week. Go on, let’s really make this a red hot mess.
CF: Gimple just might take that bet…
So, Tara (Alanna Masterson) and Heath (Corey Hawkins) are two weeks on the road and have absolutely no idea at how much the Saviors have fucked things up back at Alexandria. They haven’t found much by the way of supplies either. Tara wants to keep looking but Heath wants to go home. He also has survivors guilt about having killed all those Saviors. Tara doesn’t.
CF: Because she’s a hard girl and they don’t rattle. Or something like that. At least she wasn’t in a hurry to get back and see her girlfriend–oh, too soon? Anyway, this conversation felt like it was written by someone in high school drama club: it felt so forced and fake.
RT: Absolutely agree here. Let’s only mention girlfriends when the plot absolutely calls for it.Before they pack up and go home though, they decide to look just a little bit more. And that’s when they come across a sand pile of walkers trap. Tara gets overwhelmed with walkers and falls off a bridge into the water below. That’s when she ends up getting involved in the big old mess that is Oceanside. Oceanside are a group of women that managed to escape a skirmish with another group and took shelter out in the middle of where ever the hell they are.
CF: I have to check the map they showed, ’cause I have a pretty good idea where they may be. Besides filming on an island in Georgia. We know that one.
RT: Awesome! Thanks Cassidy 😀
CF: I have to know this shit! You know me.
RT: I love that you have to know this stuff. Because I want to know this shit, but am too lazy to work it out myself 😉
They are hidden away, and there are plenty of guns as Tara discovers after she is rescued from the water by a woman called Cindie (Sydney Park) and sneaks in for a closer look. But, before she can really take a look around, she is being shot at by Oceanside. She tries to escape, knocking out one of the women and taking her gun. Rather than kill her, Tara lets her go and it is really the only thing that saves her life when she is captured. That and Cindie being the granddaughter of Oceanside’s leader.
CF: This is another reason I want another look at the map Cindie was viewing ’cause man, the Oceanside Ladies had a shitton of weapons. I have ideas where they may have found them, but right now it’s bothering the shit out of me.
RT: Oooh, intrigue. I’ m interested!
CF: Okay, let’s look at The Map!
First, Cindie started up north by what I believe to be Westminster, Maryland, a college town near the Pennsylvania border. There isn’t a lot of stuff military up there, but it could be that Negan sent people out there because it’s sort of isolated and could have a lot of goodies.
Now, Cindie traces her finger down to where it is in the picture, where it stops. It’s hard to make out the map names, but based upon the shoreline in the Chesapeake Bay to the right and the bend of the Potomac River on the left, I think she’s stopped right near Waldorf, Maryland. Waldorf isn’t close to the water, but just to the west is Smallwood State Park on Mattawoman Creek just off the Potomac, and they have docks. There are a lot of little, out of the way places a group like this could stay.
Now, Negan might not have been over this way because DC could be between him and Oceanside. Washington was, according to the comic, a nightmare because of all the walkers, and taking the Beltway Highway around would be a pain in the ass to navigate. It would be easier for The Saviors to fan out northwest to northeast because fewer zombies.
What route would the women take to get to Oceanside? This one:
That would be the most direct: 160 km and probably a few days of driving and/or walking. They’re on the Beltway a little too much, but there are plenty of side streets they could take instead.
However, they could take another way–
What does this route get you? A stop at Fort Meade (army base and home of the NSA), Annapolis (home of the US Naval Academy), and Joint Base Andrews, where they keep Air Force One. Also, there are a lot of malls along the way: I know, I’ve been to a few of them in this area.
Sure, most everything will be looted out, but all you have to do is find a few small caches and you’re set. And pretty much everything is gonna be military-grade stuff, so no worries there, either. And if you know those places are there you can make a run to them at some point and pick stuff up.
That’s my guess and I’m sticking with it.
RT: OMGs Cassidy! you are freaking AWESOME! Thank you so much for sorting all this out 😀
CF: I’m not saying this is what happened in the show, but it’s what I’d do if I needed to created a backstory for the Women of Amazon Island. Which is probably a lot better than whatever bullshit Gimple pulls out of his arse.Tara spends some time handcuffed before she is questioned about who she is and where she is from. Tara lies about where she is from, saying she and a friend have been scavenging since it all went to shit. They know she is lying, but, later on, they offer her a place in their community rather than have her leave and tells others about them. They offer Heath a spot there too, if they ever find him.
CF: The moment Tara said, “Heath, too?” I knew–as did she–they were bullshitting her. No way an all women colony is gonna let a single guy in, even if he’s a nice guy. First Rule of Amazon Club is “Don’t Let the Guys In.” Actually that’s the second rule: the first is “Fight Like an Amazon,” which is not how these women fought.
RT: Ha! These women were all over the fucking shop. Pick a rule and actually stick to it Oceanside.
CF: They used that, “We’ll feed you our stew and get you all relaxed, then we’ll kill you tomorrow in an elaborate trap you’re sure to escape” ploy. A favorite of TV!
RT: Almost as good as the monologue ploy.
CF: Which is something else TWD does to death.
Tara graciously declines the offer, saying she has a girlfriend to get back to in Alexandria, but maybe they could trade and stuff. So Oceanside offer to give her a scout to get home and suss out Alexandria. Cindie isn’t the scout though, Beatrice (Briana Venskus) and Kathy (Nicole Barre) are sent instead.It turns out to be a trap though. They were never going to let Tara return to Alexandria and potentially give up with hiding spot. Tara manages to escape for a while until she tries to sneak up and attack one of them and they get the upper hand on her. This is when you find out the Saviors were the ones that Oceanside were up against in the “skirmish.” All their menfolk were killed by Negan’s group and that’s why they snuck out one night and escaped. And that is why they are so desperate for their hiding spot to remain a secret. Just before Beatrice can kill Tara though, Cindie (who is another one who simply can’t stay in the house), jumps on Beatrice and tells Tara to run.
CF: That picture above is such a giveaway. Most of the time Tara’s walking around with a “They’re gonna kill me, right?” look on her face–like above–and, of course, the New Girls on the Block couldn’t just KILL Tara, they had to walk her way the hell out in the woods and set up some bullshit situation so they could kill her. Rachel, you and I would have stuck the knife in Tara’s neck about fifty meters from the front gate and dumped the body in the undergrowth. Why do they keep setting up these traps that are so easy to escape? Oh, right: kill Tara and she can’t go back to the ASZ and sit on a secret for most of the rest of the season.
RT: Exactly! Amazons need to be Amazons, bitches. Tara would have died before she hit the ground in my camp. Can’t wait to see how long she holds onto her big secret though. Honestly, if I were Tara though, I would be heading back there and joining up. A bunch of wannabe Amazons has got to be better than the shit hole Rick has pushed everyone into.
CF: I agree: Tara would probably feel a hell of a lot more at home on Amazon Island. At the same time she can get them in shape and ready for a fight so they can gut the shit out of those who show up and get on their bad side.
RT: See, I agree. If there were ever a place in the world for Tara (and, dare I say it, Rosita?), it is Amazon Island. I am not even sure why she was hesitating. Oh, yeah, right, that pesky girlfriend AMC totally wasn’t involved in 😦
CF: Once again, we should be writing for AMC ’cause Tara and Rosita on Amazon Island fighting zombies and Saviors would be a hell of a lot more interesting than Mopey Rick.
Tara runs like the wind, only stopping when she can run no more. Cindie has followed Tara though and she leads her back to the bridge she fell off. She also helps Tara get through the horde of walkers still there, popping them off with enough skill to make Michonne (Danai Gurira) jealous.
Tara gets through the walkers, only to discover Heath and the RV are gone. So she walks all the way back to Alexandria. God only knows how long that took considering her and Heath had been gone two weeks. But, when she gets there, Eugene (Josh McDermitt) is crying and she knows something horrible has happened.
CF: My guess is she walked about 75 kilometers, so you can figure it out from there. If you could walk 25 klicks in a day, then three days. Then she get home and discovers her girlfriend is dead…
Later on, Rosita (Christian Serratos) is talking to Tara, explaining she is no longer Team Rick and asks if Tara saw any places that might have guns or ammo while she was on her supply run.
Thankfully, Tara says no.
What did you think of Episode 6 of AMC’s The Walking Dead Season 7? Let us know by commenting below!
CF: First, I really wanted to see Tara bust the fuck out of Rosita, ’cause Tara’s grieving while Rosita’s all, “Hey, did you find any guns?” Bitch, let the woman alone ’cause TWD done buried the only other lesbian in the group and Tara’s feeling so freaking down. And second, Tara went around looking like she was scared out of her mind most of the time–damn, girl, don’t do that. Be the badass you were back in the day before your sister and girlfriend bought it back in the Prison Days.
I really wanted to see a Tara episode ’cause I like her as a character, but this goddamn tripe was so devoid of anything approaching excitement and/or drama that I just wanted it to end. I kept thinking the episode was over about twenty minutes before it did end because it just dragged the fuck on and on. And the time jumps were so fucking bad: at least give us some indication that we’re setting up to see a flashback.
And lastly: It’s a Taracentric episode and you don’t give her a chance to lose it over Denise dying? You don’t give her a few tears or moans or screams of rage? You just let her sit mopping on the floor while Rosita’s going, “We need MOAR GUNS!” That is not only a fucked up way to Bury Your Lesbians, but we can’t even show the surviving partner having a moment like EVERY FUCKING ONE ELSE WHO’S LOST A LOVED ONE HAS! Thanks, guys. Way to make Tara and Denise being together even less important.
RT: Absolutely agree. Rosita has always been my least fave character, and this episode really made the reasons why I don’t like her shine — and she was only in it for one fucking scene. Seriously, poor Tara. I think AMC should have showed more time with Tara and Eugene, because that one short scene is the one that gave me all the feels.
CF: Josh McDermitt sold that scene so well. You could see Eugene start to quiver when he say Tara approaching and there wasn’t any need for him to say a word: his face told everything. He didn’t want to be the one to tell her, but he had to. It was the best moment of the episode.
CF: Seriously, I’m wondering how much Gimple is gonna freak after seeing the numbers for this episode, ’cause this has got to cause them to slide as much as that zombie sand pit.
RT: I really want Talking Dead to do an episode with Gimple and Kirkman now. So we can see them sit there eating the shit pile of humble pie those ratings have equated to.
CF: I would watch that. I wanted to watch last night, but when I saw how nice Alanna looked I… started feeling funny inside and knew it would not be a good idea. 😉
Episode 7, (entitled “Sing Me a Song”) of Season 7 of AMC’s The Walking Dead returns on Sunday, December 4 at 9 PM ET. The official synopsis for Episode 7 is below.
“A further peak into the Sanctuary.”
[Featured image via Gene Page/AMC]