So Episode 4 of The Walking Dead opens with Michonne (Danai Gurira) sneaking off on Rick (Andrew Lincoln) to do some target practice with a gun. Let it be known, though, not every shit shot she fires is bad though because she manages to accidentally shoot a deer. Unfortunately, that deer now belongs to Negan…
CF: Bambi’s working for the Saviors, yo. And you’d think after all that time in Alexandria someone would’ve shown Michonne how to sight in a rifle.
RT: This is what I couldn’t work out. I know she is awesome with her katana, but surely, in the apocalypse, you would want to be multi-skilled?
CF: See… in the comic Andrea was deadly with a scoped rifle, something she learned back at the prison. Having a sniper is something good to have, ’cause a dude with a baseball bat ain’t gonna do shit against someone with a 30.06 50 meters away on a rooftop. They should have snipers. Good job, Rick.
RT: And this is why I think Michonne was practicing, because she knows how to get rid of Negan.
CF: Well, since Michonne has taken over Andrea’s role, you’re going to see her doing something with the rifle that Andrea did in the comic.
Meanwhile, while Michonne is out, Rosita (Christian Serratos) and Spencer (Austin Nichols) prepare to go on their own little mission. However, Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) shows up and spoils their fun a whole week early. And so begins a really long episode in which the audience have a single concept shoved down their throats over and over again. Or, as Negan puts it, viewers get a dick shoved down their throat and then thank him for it.
CF: I was ready to thank him if he would have beaten me to death with his bat.
Yes, we know Negan means business. Did we need to see him act all smarmy and loot the place for so long? No, we did not. To cut a really long episode short, this is the important shit that went on:
- Even though Negan turns up and is alone (temporarily) at the gate, Rick is too scared to shoot him down from the safety of Alexandria and take out as many others from his group as they arrive.
CF: I know, this is how they did it in the comics, but fucking god: it’s over in about eight pages in the comic and AMC let’s this shit show drag on for so damn long. Seriously, the only reason they do these ninety minute episodes anymore is so they can pad them with ads. I should check the running time on AMC.com and I’ll bet you it comes out to about sixty minutes of show.
RT: I must admit, taking notes, while I thought the episode dragged, it was not a lot of notes taken, even if I was writing things down most of the time. So, to me, this indicates plenty of ads, not so much content. As for Negan, I really think AMC have lost him in translation from the comics to the TV series. I love what Jeffrey Morgan Dean does with him, but I think AMC have seriously screwed up here. If they don’t rally all the other groups together against Negan fairly quickly, and resolve the whole situation, I think people will turn off.
CF: Agreed. Negan is becoming extremely one-notes with his smart-ass bully routine.
- Olivia (Ann Mahoney) is really shit at keeping guns logged. It nearly gets her killed but, more importantly, it lets the audience know Negan means business. Yeah, we know. We watched Episode 16 of Season 6 and Episode 1 of Season 7, we fucking get it.
CF: Someone needed to sit Olivia’s ass down and tell her about how one goes about making a fake set of books. You know, just in case some asshole shows up at your front gate and wants all your guns.
RT: Why are they even keeping books anyway? It’s the zombie apocalypse, everyone needs guns. But, yes, obviously Spencer had those guns for a while, so Olivia just should have wiped them.
CF: She didn’t wipe them ’cause she’s shit at her job. I’d have burned the book a few days back and went, “Nope, they’re all in there.”
RT: Exactly what I would have done. Or written up new books that were severely shortchanged and buried the rest in Maggie’s grave.
- Speaking of guns, Negan wants them all. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. He’ll leave the food though, ’cause he’s a nice guy. Apparently. But, that’s okay, because while Rosita and Spencer are out collecting Daryl’s bike for Negan, Rosita retrieves a gun off a walker and finally Eugene (Josh McDermitt) gets to make bullets.
- Along with guns, Negan wants all of their mattresses so he can burn them later on. Because he is a bully and an arsehole.
CF: And this is the main reason I hate Negan so much, because I do hate bullies. And he just wants people to suffer so he can show everyone else what a big ass dick he is. But we already know that, so we really didn’t need to see the mattresses burning. Again, serious fucking pacing problems with this episode–as it was about thirty minutes longer than it should’ve been. Just keep pimpin’ those ads, Gimple.
RT: I read someone else say they really thought this whole episode should have been spliced in with next week’s and it would have worked better. I completely agree with this.
CF: I could see that. I have a feeling next week will be 40 minutes of story stretched out over an hour.
- Daryl (Norman Reedus) is not allowed to make contact with anyone from Alexandria. But, it doesn’t matter because he is so fucktarded now, he and Rick couldn’t make a plan even if someone wrote it down for them.
- Maggie (Lauren Cohan) died. Nope, just kidding. AMC just like to fuck with us the same way Negan likes to fuck with Rick. Father Gabriel (Seth Gilliam) scares the shit out of Negan in the funniest part of the whole episode and then takes Negan to Maggie’s grave. Except it’s just a fake one. And, considering Sasha (Sonequa Martin-Green) isn’t seen at Alexandria either, I am guessing the two have headed on over to Hilltop to get that baby finally looked at.
CF: You don’t have a body in that hole in the ground, but you know what else you could put in that grave? Fucking GUNS! Yeah, I know, it wasn’t in the comics, but still: if I know the bad guys are coming I wrap up some weapons and ammo, stick them in a fake grave, and cook my fucking books. Was no one in Alexandria thinking at all?
RT: Exactly! Now that Rick is a yes ma’am, everyone else needs to get their thinking caps on. I hate to say it, but Father Gabriel was the only smart one in this whole episode.
CF: He was, and yet… Didn’t Rick BURY WEAPONS back during their little Terminus adventure? Like he was, oh, I don’t know–EXPECTING BAD GUYS TO TAKE HIS SHIT? Then again, Rick’s the one that had an entire field where he could park a truck to go after Jesus and he puts it right on an incline when it can roll into a lake. I think Michonne needs to slap his ass around and get some sense back in that head.
RT: Haha! I think they all need to slap his arse! Rick has been slipping into the lake along with the truck for a long time. Someone else definitely needs to take over.
CF: Rick’s attitude at this point was one of the things that led to Maggie leaving Alexandria for Hilltop in the comic. It’s going to be interesting to see how they play this out TV show.
- Carl (Chandler Riggs) can basically get away with more shit than anyone else with Negan. It seems Negan has taken a liking to the kid and probably thinks he is a father figure to him.
- The following people are not really on the same page as Rick when it comes to sucking Negan’s dick: Rosita, Spencer, Carl, Michonne (even if she does fake it at the end of Episode 4) and possibly Eugene, Aaron (Ross Marquand) and Eric (Jordan Woods-Robinson).
- Even when Negan hands Rick Lucille, he won’t use it.
- When you have a cunt like Negan in charge, expect the effect to trickle on down the line. Rick is now a cunt-in-training in order to jump when Negan asks him.
- Finally, Rick is supposed to find something awesome for Negan next time he visits, or someone dies. Negan didn’t leave any ideas on what the some awesome should be, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
CF: And you know when you find something totally awesome to give to Negan, he’s gonna look at it and say, “No, Rick, this is crap! No, I said I wanted something awesome and you bring me this worthless fucking bullshit. Guess I’m gonna have to fuckin’ kill someone now.” And we go through the whole cycle again of Negan being a cunt trying to break down Rick. See, AMC? We’ve already written your episode for you! Hire us because I think we can do better than the shit you’re putting out right now.
RT: And this is why I am scared of that episode, because that will be EXACTLY how AMC will write it 😦
CF: It would seem we need at least one more episode of Sniveling Rick before Crazy Rick comes back to play.
RT: Or a whole season… They dragged it out long enough introducing Negan, they could do that all over again 😦
CF: It’s funny because in another thread in another group, I saw someone pitching that the first four episodes it taken place over a period of only three days. I was thinking, “Were you watching the show last season?” The whole first half of the goddamn season took place over two days. So strange how people forget these little things.
What did you think of Episode 4 of AMC’s The Walking Dead Season 7? Let us know by commenting below!
CF: I would be remiss if I didn’t point out what I thought was the most important part of this episode, and it’s something that they’ve danced around in the comic: Rick admitting that he knows Judith is Shane’s child. A couple of reasons why they’ve never talked about that in the comic: for one, Shane only slept with Lori one time, where was indicated that Rick and Lori bumped uglies quite a few times after he came back from his coma. And second of all, in the comic both are dead, so who gives a shit if Rick thinks Judith was Shane’s or not? I guess with ninety minutes to kill, Kirkman figured he better answer the question of paternity once and for all. It was a nice touch–too bad you had to sit through so much bullshit to get to this moment.
RT: The whole Judith thing just kind of came out of nowhere, and, to be honest, when Rick mentioned Shane, I thought he might compare Shane to Negan and justify killing him that way. Indicating Rick had some sort of plan to get Negan in the long run. Or, that’s who I wanted that scene to play out, at least it would show Rick had some sort of spine. But no, they went on about paternity like any of us still care. Of course Judith is Shane’s, the audience has already deduced that through logical assumptions, but no, AMC had minutes to fill…
CF: Rick had to find a way to justify not being able to stand up to Negan and it was a pretty weak. I seemed to recall that in the comic he was more pissed off about this and Andrea helped him through the situation.
CF: And please, for fuck’s sake, stop with the ninety minute episodes! This is the second one in a row that had serious pacing problem with little or no character development. I didn’t have a problem with Here’s Not Here because during that you got to see Morgan grow as a character, but that was the exception to the rule. Here you get to watch Negan walking around acting like a motherfucking dick, which we already know he is, and bully the fuck out of everyone with his gang of fucking assholes. I would suggest that the gang of writers who work on The Walking Dead watch the last episode of Season 3 of Black Mirror, Hated in the Nation, and learn how to pace a fucking ninety minute episode. That one is all meat and no filler, and it would behoove them to figure out how to write the same.
RT: I concur on this one Cassidy!
CF: If they were going to do a ninety minute episode, save it for Negan’s back story. And as far as the synopsis for next week… is it gonna take Rick forty-five minutes of driving in the RV to get there?
RT: Oh crap! Please no more RV adventures 😦 I agree too, save the 90 minute episodes for where they are required. i would watch the hell out of Negan’s back story, and it would help get rid of Negan’s one dimensional character.
Episode 5, (entitled “Go Getters”) of Season 7 of AMC’s The Walking Dead returns on Sunday, November 20 at 9PM ET. The official synopsis for Episode 5 is below.
“Members of our group go to Hilltop.”
[Featured image via Gene Page/AMC]