So, here, we are, fresh at the start of a new season of The Walking Dead. It has been six months since AMC took us on the most boring road trip ever. But, did we finally find out who Negan killed? Check out my recap of Episode 1 (entitled “The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be”) to find out!
SPOILER ALERT: I don’t normally do these, but, here’s your reminder to put your big girl panties on because I will not be like AMC and will reveal who Negan killed right away. Also, I didn’t take notes through this episode, like I normally do. This recap will likely be all over the place as a result.Now, I know we said in out Season 7 predictions video, that we would be video recapping Episode 7 of TWD, but, unfortunately, “express from the U.S.” on Foxel not not mean immediately. Instead there was a 1.5 hour delay. So, instead, Cassidy and I will be doing a short de-briefing on Episode 1 of The Walking Dead as soon as we can.
CF: Yeah, we will get to that ASAP. Oh, and Thank you, Foxtel. You shits.
And, now, for the recap!
So, Episode 1 of The Walking Dead starts just the way we saw it in the latest Season 7 trailer for this episode. Rick (Andrew Lincoln) is looking all dazed and confused and Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is as smug as shit. That’s because he has just beaten to death two of Rick’s group: Abraham (Michael Cudlitz) and Glenn (Steven Yeun).
But, we don’t know this yet because AMC are cunts and insist on Negan breaking Rick just that little bit more before they reveal Abraham’s death. Poor Abraham, he really did take it like a champ. The scene was brutal, horrendous. I have seen some fucked up shit on TV, but, Episode 1 of The Walking Dead has left me with the most gut-kicked feeling that is really hard to describe unless you have seen the episode. Season 7 of The Walking Dead makes me feel dead inside. It makes me question if I can really stomach this sort of bleakness. For the first time ever I have questioned why I still watch this show.
CF: I started timing it and we were twenty minutes in before we got to Abraham’s scene. It was as if AMC was trying to torture everyone watching, as if to leave everyone numb to what was about to happen. And all I can say about Abe’s death is that he did take it like a champ, but like we spoke about in our video, you knew more was coming because the Comic God (aka Kirkman) needed to be appeased.
RT: I was really getting shitty by this point, thinking AMC were going to drag it all out again.But, I digress. Let’s get back to Episode 1 of The Walking Dead…
First they let Negan talk a bit, then he drags Rick off into the RV so he can talk some more. Negan smacks an axe down on the table and Rick — being predictable — eventually lunges for it. Negan has a gun though, so Rick has no chance here. Negan takes the axe and throws it out into the walker-infested fog and Rick has to go out an retrieve it for him.
Because Rick now belongs to Negan.
To cut a long story short (because AMC have no idea how to do this), Rick totally gets owned by Negan. But, there is still a little of the old Rick left, so Negan returns to the group and messes with everyone’s heads that little bit more.
CF: This shit dragged on a lot longer than was needed. Yes, we knew Rick was gonna break because he has to: this is now going to be about Rick’s redemption and how he comes back from the pit, because we can come back at some point–even though a crazy woman with a zombie head in a box didn’t seem to think so. But I digress. At this point AMC is just fucking with us—
I need to note here that it is daybreak and Maggie is doing remarkably well for someone who was miscarrying all over the place in the last episode.This is when AMC surprise us with Glenn’s death. While it was not entirely unexpected, it still floored me. Now, you all know Glenn is my favourite character, so part of the shock of it was finally having to witness the death of my fave character. However, part of it was just how badly they fucked Glenn over. I agree entirely with Forbes in their recap. Glenn’s death while justified to prove the point that Negan was making — and I will get to Daryl’s (Norman Reedus) role in all this in a moment — was a moment I never want to see again on television. Not only did AMC decide to kill off Glenn, but they made a mockery of his death. Poor Glenn got to hang around with a bashed up face and a bugging out eye while Negan let him suffer.
That is the last image I will have of Glenn. And for that, I truly hate AMC.
As for Daryl. He is dead to me.
If he hadn’t jumped up and punched Negan, Glenn would still be alive. I can’t even look at Daryl right now.
CF: Now, to be fair in this part–which is difficult as hell to do, but I gotta do it–the production people pretty much story boarded Glenn’s death straight out of the comic. The things that he tried to say, the thing Negan said to him, the scene where you see Glenn all bashed up with his eye about to fall out–it’s right out of Issue #100, panel for panel. I could post the images here, but… just take my word for it because you don’t want to see this shit again. As TWD has done for a few of their iconic moments they lifted them straight from the pages. And this was one.
RT: And now I hate the comics too. Poor Glenn *cries some more*
CF: As for Daryl–fuck him. AMC knew they had to kill off Glenn as well as Abraham, so they had Daryl go after him at that point? Why not kill Daryl, too? Really, by filming this the way they did, TWD fucking cheapened Glenn’s death. It was a toss off: “Oh, look: someone fucked up, so you gotta die.” They couldn’t have done it the other way around with Abe going second? You take a character who’s been around since the pilot (voice only, I know, give me a fucking break), fuck with him for six seasons, and then take was what supposed to be THE pivotal moment in the show–and then make him the runner up in The Death Game. Fuck you, AMC. You ARE fucking with the fans at this point because you can.
I should point out that this episode was written by Gimple. Why am I not fucking surprised?
RT: I am not at all surprised Gimple wrote this episode. I completely agree, Daryl should have died here, or put Abraham second. However, Daryl is AMC’s cash cow, so he will likely never die.
Now, if you think this is horrible enough, think again. There is more shit to be spread out evenly on this sandwich AMC are forcing us to eat.Since Rick isn’t broken down enough, Negan insists Rick chop off Carl’s (Chandler Riggs) hand. Or everyone dies. Uh-huh. The new world is not a place I want to visit anymore. Rick fights it at first, but then raises the axe and prepares to cut off his son’s hand. Which is EXACTLY what Negan wants. Rick is broken. There is no need for Carl to lose a hand now. The point is proven and I am glad Carl doesn’t have to be the brunt of one-eyed, one-handed memes.
CF: I did think for a moment that Rick might chop off his own hand so he could be like Rick in the comics, thanks to The Governor. At this point, though, I was getting sick of this episode’s shit. Not because it was brutal, but because it was brutal without making a fucking point. We get it: BREAK RICK! Can we just move the fuck on without spending five minutes pretending that Rick is going to do something we know he won’t do? Goddammit, people, what could have been one of the more horrifying episodes has turned into misery porn at this point.
RT: I would have loved to see Rick cut off his own hand!
The rules are reiterated before Negan’s gang leave and now is when I start ugly sobbing. This is because we get to focus on Maggie (Lauren Cohan). While I am still questioning why she isn’t as sick as she was making out in the Season 6 finale, I am still blubbering away as the group helps carry Abraham and Glenn away. Maggie is left standing there. Alone. So motherfucking alone that I want to curl up in a corner and rock.
And then AMC fucks me up just a little bit more with this happy scene of how it could have been:
CF: And I do believe, though I could be wrong, that Sasha was supposed to be pregnant in this scene as well. I could just make out what looked like a baby bump on her as we lingered on the pain and misery of things that can never be. And it’s likely Maggie never gets to have her baby, either, because Gimple has to be a royal cunt at this point and destroy happiness wherever he goes.
RT: It sounds just like AMC misery to get Sasha pregnant and have Maggie lose her child. AMC fucktardery at its finest!What did you think of the season 7 premiere of AMC’s The Walking Dead? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below!
CF: When we get around to doing the video I’ll give my feelings on this episode because I don’t think I can express it in written words at the moment…
RT: Can’t wait! 😉
Episode 2, (entitled “The Well”) of Season 7 of AMC’s The Walking Dead returns on Sunday, October 30 at 9PM ET. The official synopsis for Episode 2 is below.
“Following a number of familiar faces, we are introduced to a new well-established community that seems too good to be true.”
[Featured image via AMC]