It’s time for Episode 12 and I’m feeling a bit snarky because of reasons. So this recap may seem to go quick. Yeah, I say that all the time, but I rarely stick too that promise. So let’s see what happens.
Don’t Look Back…
Things are not going well at the Colony. For one, Francisco, one of the scouts roaming about outside the walls, decides it’s time to take a powder, so he gets his wife and daughter and heads to the Wall o’ Zombies to gut himself a dead one and do the Nick Trick(tm) on everyone. They scoot and are on their way to another settlement when the Cartels R Us guys grab them all. Nope, not a good time.
RT: Because hearing them arrive and hiding behind the first available wall is totally a plan to evade them.
CF: The whole “Oops, we got caught” scene was so far on the other side of bogus. I mean, really poorly executed.
Were you wondering what happened to Ofelia (Mercedes Mason)? Well, guess what? You’re gonna find out! See, she did a little Grand Theft Pickup and took off for a place called Poco Cielo. Now, the last time we saw her she was whining to Alicia (Alycia Debnam-Carey) about how they weren’t gonna make it, but now—now she’s kicking in doors and going all Tyreese on the infected—
RT: Don’t even get me started on Ofelia’s mad apocalypse skills she’s obviously been keeping quiet.
CF: At least with Alicia there was a bit of an evolution, but this shite? I was rolling my eyes so hard.
But why is she here? Remember she told Alicia she had a boyfriend? Will—the dude in question—was more than that: this restaurant/hotel was where they both hooked up for a weekend and he proposed marriage to her with a ring in a sniff of tequila. So with all those good memories in place Ofelia is finding all the gas she can and she’s taking off to apparently find him—in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Personal Note: Of all the crazy things anyone has done so far during this part of the season, this has got to be the craziest of them all. This isn’t an Atlanta-to-Alexandria, VA, trip with a lot of experienced people in a caravan: this is one person about to take off on a trip that, based upon things we see in this episode, will end up being a 1525 km, or almost 950 miles, trip. Alone and without having previously showing any real skill for whacking the undead.
Can you smell what the writers are cookin’? Yeah: it smells like bullshit. I get it: she’s upset and she wants to find Will. But she goes from “We’re not going to make it” to “Fuck it: Land of Enchantment, here I come!” while Alicia’s taking a shower and then starts acting like The Terminator when it comes to killing zombies. Well, at least when she goes through the ABQ, also known as Albuquerque, she can stop at Los Pollos Hermanos and see if they have any of that Sky Blue meth we know exists in the Walking Dead universe…
RT: I am so glad you pointed out the distance thing Cassidy because I was searching Google maps and just thinking I was being a dumb Aussie who doesn’t know the area well enough to comment. At this rate, how long will it take Ofelia to reach Atlanta?
CF: And the thing is she’s not taking the most direct route, which is about 200 km shorter. Because of that one shot of her driving of at the end, the writers indicate she’s down at that little dot where she hangs a hard-left turn. And I’m sorry, but this is a huge peeve of mine when someone can’t look at a map and figure out that you can do a better job of showing someone is heading off to a particular location. Because snarky bitches like me will figure out where they’re wrong.
And since you ask: from where I had her stopping in Santa Fe to the fake CDC used in The Walking Dead, the distance is 2,230 km or 1,385 mi, and she can drive it in twenty hours. So, it would take her five hours more to drive to ATL from Santa Fe as it’s taking her to drive from the hotel to Santa Fe. Easy Peasy.
RT: So, even though AMC are claiming the distance is too far to travel between The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead, they are already setting up the characters from Fear to make long journeys…
CF: Exactly. Which is why it’s easy to call bullshit on this. And just for perspective: the trip from Atlanta to Alexandria is 1,025 km and takes 9 1/2 hours today. And they walked about 150 km of that at the end.
At the hotel the gates and walls are fixed up, stuff inside is cleaned, there’s fishing on the pier, and they get the generator working so they have power for part of the day. Oh, and Hector is teaching Alicia how to surf because why the fuck not?
RT: I went to make a Matt comment but you have already beat me too it in the image!
CF: I will never let a “Matt who?” comment pass! And the way Alicia looks in the photo it is like she’s going, “Boyfriend? Now wait…” I half expect she’s gonna head off to a room with Hector this next time for–well, reasons below.
We find out that Alicia sort of misses Nick and Hector misses his brother, who it turns out is hanging with a bunch of bad guys close by. Three guess where? Anyone?
Nick (Frank Dillane) and Lucinda (Danay Garcia) are engaging in Basic Cable Nudity when they’re interrupted by one of the scouts. Francisco’s gone with his family, probably gone to a community doing better. They still need water so Nick is ready to roll.
Alicia is upstairs with Strand (Colman Domingo) Madison (Kim Dicken) and Elena (Karen Bethzab) going over plans on what to do around the hotel when there’s a knock on the door. Elena figures it’s Hector, but when Strand opens the door it’s the crazy Mother of the Dead Bride who’s pissed off her zombie daughter was put down, so she stabs Strand in the stomach.
RT: Elena needs to go. All that bitch does is mope and stab people while everyone else is securing the place and Alicia is picking up nice new boyfriends.
CF: This is the one area where Rick does have the advantage: he’d have tossed her off a balcony after that bullshit. Strand all but pegs her as crazy and there’s no way you can keep an eye on her all the time. Time to join your daughter and husband!
RT: And this is where we are reminded just how young the apocalypse still is to this group.
CF: It’s pretty obvious that the full weight of the End of the World hasn’t hit people yet.
RT: Judging from the previews for Episode 13, I think they will start to learn the full weight of the shit they are in when survivors start turning up at the blockade they have created leading into the Rosarito Beach Hotel. Interesting the moral compass (Travis) has turned up at the same time Madison is trying to keep everyone out…
Alejandro (Paul Calderon) speaks with Lucinda and Nick, and he quickly begins losing his shit over Francisco leaving. He blames her and wants the problem fixed.
Madison and Strand discuss the attack. He thinks Ilene will need to be watched forever and Madison tells Oscar to keep her locked up or it’s the road for her. It’s the road for anyone who raises a hand to another! Better listen to her—
You know this will come back and bite her on the ass at some point…
Alejandro spends a lot of time talking to the people and a lot of time rubbing the back his neck. When he’s finished Nick and Lucinda want to make a water run, but he won’t let them leave. He won’t let anyone leave. He starts blaming Lucinda again for Francisco running off while he does more neck rubbing.
RT: Alejandro is channeling Shane here with all that neck rubbing. Which is not a good sign for him or anyone around him. I wonder if the immune resurrect after death?
CF: I was having the same reaction. It won’t be long before Alejandro is down to the Wall o’ Zombies and either starts blasting away or jumps in the pen.
The hotel van is ready to go. Elena knows a a place. She has words with Hector and it doesn’t go unnoticed. And like that, it’s time to go shopping. On the road Elena lets Madison know she was trying to get Hector to come along so he could convince his brother to come back to the hotel. Yeah, it’s all about family—
Back at his place Nick and Lucinda are having an argument. Nick wants to get the water ‘cause the bad guys are gonna come for their drugs if they don’t do something. They get loud, they curse, they kiss and make up.
The Hotel Group reach Cartels R Us and want to trade: fish on ice for the medical stuff. Madison and Elena are allowed inside while Hector’s brother gets their stuff.
Nick goes to Alejandro to see how he’s doing. He keeps kicking the same point home: if we don’t do this trade they’ll come for us. Alejandro doesn’t believe they can be touched, but Nick knows it’s bullshit. Alejandro start losing his shit again and Nick is looking worried by what he’s seeing and hearing.
RT: Nick is looking like a better leader every day now. He doesn’t even live in Mexico, yet he knows how bad shit can get and the native doesn’t even see it. If this were Total Drama Island, Alejandro would not be getting a marshmallow.
CF: I’m guessing Nick’s dealt with gangs in L.A. during his junkie days and knows those people are only happy when you have something for them. He probably does have a feel for how volatile shit can get in a hurry with anyone from a gang.
Fish is delivered, Elena speaks with Hector’s brother, and goods are located while the women are told not to move. Yeah, about that… Francisco is nearby being interrogated and it’s loud enough for both women to hear and for Elena to translate. And wouldn’t you know it, there is a comment made about an American with ratty hair—and Madison knows all about Americans with ratty hair. Of course bursting on this gets them shown the door with Elena knowing how close they are to getting killed.
RT: Can I just say this group are the worst baddies I have ever seen. Any decent gang would have chopped off Nick’s hand and killed Madison on the spot. They are just asking for a takeover.
CF: Right now they have automatic weapons and lots of ammo, as well as dealing with unarmed people, so they own the turf. They haven’t run into anyone yet who might, oh, I don’t know, kill you for simply talking shit like some crazy zombie killers we know, and that’s what’s keeping them alive. Seriously, I can see Nick getting in his mind to zombie walk the herd in the pen right up to their little store and take all their asses out, because it sounds like something he’d do.
RT: Please AMC, make this happen!
CF: Nick, King of the Dead. I would write that scene.
Nick is speaking with one of the lookouts: he wants to make this trade and wants to know if this guy will go with him. The decision is made: they’ll go tonight. Nick sees Lucinda. She’s passing the word to get everyone calmed down. He’s got some booze that Alejandro gave him—want a belt?
Strand is getting worse slowly but there’s still time. He speaks with Alicia who isn’t one to bullshit anyone about their condition. He wants to know what Alicia meant by saying she raised herself. She had to help everyone and it made her grow up fast. Strand thinks she’s now got her mother all to herself. Alicia isn’t sure Madison really sees her. Strand says to make her…
Nick is outside the Colony, checking out the Wall o’ Zombies. And of course, the dudes from Cartels R Us are checking him out:
We’re back with Ofelia and she’s working out her route—hey, I’ve already done it for you! We get a flashback with her and her mother, Griselda, who gets more exposure on the show now that she’s dead that she ever got alive. They talk about her weekend with “the girls” and you see how Ofelia is torn about leaving her parents behind. The flashback over, she hangs a rosary over the rear-view mirror and strikes out for America.
The van is back at the hotel and Madison is out as soon as it comes to a stop. Alicia comes out and gets the story on while they are late—and that’s when the hotel marque sign on the top of the hotel lights up. Madison has the generator going and the lights on. Alicia’s finds her mom and is giving her shit about letting the world know where they are and nearly blowing the trade all because she thinks this gringo that was mentioned could be Nick. And then Madison makes the dumbest comment ever: she’s doing this because your child is always your child—
And Alicia’s response: “I’m your child. He chose what’s out there instead of us. And I never changed my mind. I’m here: why isn’t that enough?”
RT: Good to see favourite children is still a thing in the zombie apocalypse.
CF: This was, by far, the biggest mistake Madison has made so far. Letting Alicia know that no matter how much the girl helps out and is willing to do anything to make the hotel a livable area, she still likes her junkie son better–that is really a huge-ass slap in the face. Which means we’re probably going to see the return of Moppy Teen Girl Alicia and her grabbing Hector and running off for some quick sex and, oh, if I get pregnant who gives a fuck, it’ll show my mom, yeah??? Seriously, Alicia is right: fuck Nick, what about the people here? What about me? Get your head out of your ass, mom!
Good going, Maddie! Just when you thought you were patching things up, you go and shit the bed.
The hotel lights are on long enough to be seen, but not by Nick—
He gets his bearings and heads towards the beach.
Personal Note: The title, Pillar of Salt, refers back to Lot’s Wife being turned into one when she looked back upon the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. A lot of people have interpreted her fate to mean that for one to look back upon the sins of the past is to lead to death, and a lot of looking back on things they should have let go is leading up to some bad things.
Also, Travis appeared alone, but that doesn’t mean he is alone. The shot on him was tight enough that Chris could have been with him, but we wouldn’t see him. Is this another case of AMC showing us something that isn’t true? As Rachel has said before, AMC like to act clever, but the problem with clever arseholes is they think they are clever. Anyway, we’ll know about Chris next week—
RT: I really hope Travis is alone. Although, if this were the “wishes come true” segment, Travis would be dead already… Since that isn’t true. I really hope he has killed Chris.
CF: Someone’s gonna die, I’m sure of that, and I’m betting it’s the bros. But AMC’s gonna keep us guessing because they’re cunts—
RT: AMC have already released images of Episode 13 that are heavy with bros. I think you’re onto something here.
As always, leave a comment below and tell us what you think!
Madison Clark — Kim Dickens
Alicia Clark — Alycia Debnam-Carey
Victor Strand — Colman Domingo
Elena Reyes — Karen Bethzabe
Nick Clark — Frank Dillane
Lucinda — Danay Garcia
Alejandro — Paul Calderon
Ofelia Salazar — Mercedes Mason